True Christian Love

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Jesus said in John 13:34-35:

A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another.  By this everyone will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another.”[1]

He also said in Luke 6:32-36:

If you love those who love you, what credit is that to you? Even sinners love those who love them. 33 And if you do good to those who are good to you, what credit is that to you? Even sinners do that.  And if you lend to those from whom you expect repayment, what credit is that to you? Even sinners lend to sinners, expecting to be repaid in full.  But love your enemies, do good to them, and lend to them without expecting to get anything back. Then your reward will be great, and you will be children of the Most High, because he is kind to the ungrateful and wicked.  Be merciful, just as your Father is merciful.[2]

What should we look for?

The two most difficult things to get straight in life are love and God. More often than not, the mess people make of their lives can be traced to failure or stupidity or meanness in one or both of these areas.

The basic and biblical Christian conviction is that the two subjects are intricately related. If we want to deal with God the right way, we have to learn to love the right way. If we want to love the right way, we have to deal with God the right way. God and love can’t be separated.[3]

Jesus said that we could tell his true followers by the love that they had for one another. The importance of love is repeated by all of the New Testament authors:

Paul told us:

The only thing that counts is faith expressing itself through love.[4]
Knowledge puffs up but Love builds up.
If anyone thinks he has arrived at knowledge, he does not yet know as he ought to know;
but
If anyone loves, this one truly knows.[5]
If I speak with human eloquence and angelic ecstasy but don’t love, I’m nothing but the creaking of a rusty gate.
If I speak God’s Word with power, revealing all his mysteries and making everything plain as day, and if I have faith that says to a mountain, “Jump,” and it jumps, but I don’t love, I’m nothing.
If I give everything I own to the poor and even go to the stake to be burned as a martyr, but I don’t love, I’ve gotten nowhere. So, no matter what I say, what I believe, and what I do, I’m bankrupt without love.
Love never gives up. Love cares more for others than for self.
Love doesn’t want what it doesn’t have. Love doesn’t strut,
Doesn’t have a swelled head, Doesn’t force itself on others,
Isn’t always “me first,” Doesn’t fly off the handle,
Doesn’t keep score of the sins of others,
Doesn’t revel when others grovel, Takes pleasure in the flowering of truth,
Puts up with anything, Trusts God always,
Always looks for the best, Never looks back,
But keeps going to the end.[6]

The apostle John is clear:

The message you heard from the very beginning is this: we must love one another. ...Whoever does not love is still under the power of death. ...This is how we know what love is: Christ gave his life for us. We too, then, ought to give our lives for our brothers and sisters! ...My children, our love should not be just words and talk; it must be true love, which shows itself in action.Cite error: Closing </ref> missing for <ref> tag

What isn't love?

We know from 1 John 4:20 that if someone doesn't love their brother or sister, they cannot say that they love God.

With few exceptions, the people in the message are not loving. There acceptance is conditional, it is based on the law. If you ask questions, you are shown the door. If you don't believe in their prophet, they will cut you off and shun you. That is not love.

They will excuse such behaviour

There are always people around who don’t want to be pinned down to the God Jesus reveals, to the love Jesus reveals. They want to make up their own idea of God, make up their own style of love.[7]

Paul tells us in 1 Cor. 13 that there are eight things love is not: not envious, not proud, not arrogant, not rude, not cliquish, not touchy, not suspicious, not happy with evil.

a. Love does not envy: Envy accomplishes nothing, except to hurt. Love keeps its distance from envy, and does not resent it when someone else is promoted or blessed. Many persons cover a spirit of envy with the appearance of godly zeal and tender concern for the salvation of others; they find fault with all; no onene can please them; and every one suffers by them. Like the Pharisees, they neglect the weightier matters. Their godliness is sour.
b. Love does not parade itself: Love in action can work anonymously. It does not have to have the limelight or the attention to do a good job, or to be satisfied with the result. Love gives because it loves to give, not out of the sense of praise it can have from showing itself off. Sometimes the people who seem to work the hardest at love are the ones the furthest from it. They do things many would perceive as loving, yet they do them in a manner that would parade itself. This isn’t love; it is pride looking for glory by the appearance of love.
c. Love … is not puffed up: To be puffed up is to be arrogant and self-focused. It speaks of someone who has a “big head.” Love doesn’t get its head swelled; it focuses on the needs of others.
Among Christians, the worst pride is spiritual pride.  
d. Love … does not behave rudely: Where there is love, there will be kindness and good manners. Perhaps not in the stuffy, “look at how cultured I am” way of showing manners, but in the simply way people do not behave rudely.
e. Love … does not seek its own: Paul communicates the same idea in Romans 12:10: in honor giving preference to one another. Also, Philippians 2:4 carries the same thought: Let each of you look out not only for his own interests, but also for the interests of others. This is being like Jesus in a most basic way, being an others-centered person instead of a self-centered person.
f. Love … is not provoked: We all find it easy to be provoked or to become irritated with those who are just plain annoying. But it is a sin to be provoked, and it isn’t love. Moses was kept from the Promised Land because he became provoked at the people of Israel (Numbers 20:2–11).
g. Love … thinks no evil: Literally this means “love does not store up the memory of any wrong it has received.” Love will put away the hurts of the past instead of clinging to them. Real love “never supposes that a good action may have a bad motive
h. Love … does not rejoice in iniquity: It is willing to want the best for others, and refuses to color things against others. Instead, love rejoices in the truth. Love can always stand with and on truth, because love is pure and good like truth.Cite error: Closing </ref> missing for <ref> tag


Footnotes

  1. The New International Version (Grand Rapids, MI: Zondervan, 2011), Jn 13:34–35.
  2. The New International Version (Grand Rapids, MI: Zondervan, 2011), Lk 6:32–36.
  3. Eugene H. Peterson, The Message: The Bible in Contemporary Language (Colorado Springs, CO: NavPress, 2005), 1 Jn.
  4. The New International Version (Grand Rapids, MI: Zondervan, 2011), Ga 5:6.
  5. Gordon D. Fee, The First Epistle to the Corinthians, The New International Commentary on the New Testament (Grand Rapids, MI: Wm. B. Eerdmans Publishing Co., 1987), 367.
  6. Eugene H. Peterson, The Message: The Bible in Contemporary Language (Colorado Springs, CO: NavPress, 2005), 1 Co 13:1–7.
  7. Eugene H. Peterson, The Message: The Bible in Contemporary Language (Colorado Springs, CO: NavPress, 2005), 1 Jn.


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